The Kings National Finals held on Saturday 2nd May.

Finals Report the Big Cup Goes North.  

                                               By  Long John King

 Blessed with the sunniest finals day since 2002 and with almost 5 of Britain’s best skiers promising to attend we had the potential for the best finals ever for some time.  As I arrived at 08.30 to see the car park full and a naked bottom up on the hill I knew nothing could spoil my day, I deeply inhaled the scent of bbq lighter fuel and burnt snags, skipped through the gazebo erection zone, avoided 2 giant waterbomb teams and took up my place on the viewing balcony. Early calls for Newcastle to be placed into quarantine with northern pig flu were dismissed and the skiing began. Last years champions Bristol had lost their edge so any chance of silverware going west was left with Bath girls.  Only Newcastle, Kent, Nottingham and Southampton had the 3 wins in round 1, the early pace in the boarders being set by Surrey, Bristol and Birmingham. Meanwhile there was all to play for in the fancy dress stakes, Kent had gone green as Sunflowers, Leeds had their number as 118s, Bath cavemen would turn up periodically in the local A+E to cheer up the NHS, Nottingham were somewhat purple, Portsmouth were feeing orange, Trent had their pants on the outside but the prize was to go to one of the big 3, Loughborough looked strong as oompah-loompahs until it transpired they did not know the proper song. That just left a head to head, Sheffield Cheerleaders Vs Manchester's Hooters Girls. Determined to make their mark Hooters girls Victoria, Katy, Emma, SJ, Cat, Elizabeth, Emma and Vicky invaded the balcony and gamely munched their way thru 2 kilos of chilli peppers. Sheffield piled high on to their inflatable and a challenge was set which we at Kings see as a future annual event the Manchester Vs Sheffield head to head Human Pyramid Off. Most agree this was a more exciting event than the skiing ending with Laurie and Vicky standing proudly 5 rows up with their hair blowing in the wind. From the ground I would have given it to Sheffield but from the elevated judging platform the case of Champagne was awarded to Manchester Team of the Year 2009…….bring on next season.